Bio: Thirty year, four months, and two days after she said, “I do,” Karen DeArmond Gardner left an abusive marriage. Today she’s a trauma advocate for women who are in or have left abusive marriages. Karen is a truth teller and myth buster about domestic abuse.
I moved to the
I survived a thirty-year abusive marriage, which is how I
ended up in
Tell us about your family. I remarried in 2010 to Tom Gardner, between us we have three adult children and five grandchildren. Tom and I own a private security company. Tom is a bodyguard and Elder at our church.
Have you written other nonfiction books? I’ve contributed to Arise to Peace: A Daily Devotional and We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished! And I blog periodically.
Do you have any other books in the works right now? I have the bones of a book that I’ll start working on early next year. It will be a daily book of encouragement for survivors of domestic abuse.
What kinds of hobbies
and leisure activities do you enjoy? I’m digging into our family ancestry. I’ve
discovered that one line of our history goes back to the Kings of England,
another line to Barons, Knights, Contessa’s, and Ladies with a
Why did you write the featured book? It was the book I needed when I left my abusive marriage. I found many books that explained what happened to me, which I needed to know. I didn’t know I could heal. I thought I would live with the pain for the rest of my life. The only option was to bury the pain deep within my soul. Pain always leaks out; it looks like something and acts like something, and it’s usually not pretty.
I unintentionally healed, enough to remarry in 2010. In 2013, God determined to be more intentional in my healing. He led me to join a Mending the Soul group at the church I was attending. I thought it was the end of my healing. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was the beginning. Year after year, God invited me into deeper healing. I’ve since discovered the More of God. Domestic abuse isn’t a life sentence.
What do you want the reader to take away from the book? Leaving is just the beginning. It’s the beginning of unbelievable hard. Life doesn’t get easier; it actually gets more difficult as you heal from the one who vowed to love you. As you heal from his consequences while he goes on his merry way. The book is an invitation to heal, to encounter the One who truly loves you.
Is it abuse if he doesn’t hit you? The short answer is, yes. Domestic abuse is also called intimate terrorism and coercive control. Most abuse doesn’t involve physical abuse, it does involve the threat of violence.
If this isn’t your story, you most likely know someone. We all do. We just may not know that we know. I hope that if this is you, you’ll read to learn how to help her, to know what questions to not ask. To become a safe person if she shares her story with you.
Please give us the first page or two from the book.
When It’s Time to Take Your Life Back
By your mighty power I can walk through any devastation, and you will keep me alive, reviving me. Your power set me free from the hatred of my enemies.
—Psalm 138:7 (tpt)
After a long day at work, I settled into my favorite chair to watch mindless television and avoid talking to my then husband. Finding myself bored with TV, I began to flip through the latest edition of Today’s Christian Woman magazine. I felt as if someone plunged a hot poker into my heart as I read that God doesn’t condone abuse, that I was one in four women.
I sneaked a glance at Guy, trying not to react, afraid he somehow knew what I was reading. Can he read my mind? As I continued reading the article, “The Silent Epidemic,” shock is the only word that describes how it felt to see my life played out in print. How could they know about the physical and verbal abuse? Yet that wasn’t what stopped my heart. It was the author talking about husbands destroying sentimental property, issuing death threats, and isolating their wives from family and friends.
The harsh reality smacked me in the face.
My husband was an abuser.
It’s not just the way he was. It wasn’t just because I made him angry. He was a predator. It meant our marriage was a travesty. Even harder to admit...if he was an abuser, I was abused.
I couldn’t be.
Oh, but I was.
Where on the Internet can the readers find you? You can find me at http:www.AnotherOneFree.com, subscribe to my site and you’ll get at free download, “10 Expectations of Leaving.” I post daily encouragement at Another One Free on FB and Instagram @karengardnerauthor.
Thank you, Karen, for allowing me to share your book on my blog. I have a close friend who went through what you did. My heart breaks for women who are married to this kind of man. If any of my precious fans are one of those women, I want them to read this book.
Readers, here’s a link to the book.
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