AT THE HEART OF FRIENDSHIP - Kathy Collard Miller

Welcome, Kathy. What would you like for our readers to know about you personally?

I’d always wanted to be a writer since middle school but had no clue what it entailed. God had a plan and now I have more than 50 published books and numerous articles. I’ve spoken in over 30 US states and 8 foreign countries. God has opened wonderful doors including being on the 700 Club, and many other podcasts, TV, and radio programs. I’m amazed at what God has done.

How did your ministry start?

After God delivered me from being a child abuser when our daughter was three years old and our son was a newborn, God stirred within me a desire to share my story. I sent a query letter about my story to the primary Christian magazine of the time, and asked if accepted, it be published anonymously. I was so ashamed. I was so thrilled when my article was accepted, I had to tell people not knowing they would ask, “What’s your article about?” God used that to help me share the horrible truth. From that sharing, came my first speaking engagement at our church and when I saw the response of the women, I was convinced God wanted to use my story.

Tell us about your family.

My daughter whom I abused calls me her best friend and supports my sharing. We even wrote a book together and she has completed a novel. She is a wife, mom of two (my grandkids!), and MOPS leader who loves the Lord. Our son lives close by in Southern California. My husband and I married in 1970 and look forward to soon celebrating 50 years of seeing God work. We often speak and write together and are lay-counselors.

Have you written other nonfiction books?

Yes, I have written Christian Living books, other women’s Bible studies for my Daughters of the King Bible Study series, and commentaries. My topics have included marriage, parenting, godly living, and overcoming perfectionism, worry, anger, wrong motives, and other practical ideas. Some of those titles are No More Anger (my story), Pure-Hearted, Never Ever Be the Same (co-written with husband Larry), Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries, Why Do I Put So Much Pressure on Myself and Others?, and many others.

Do you have any other books in the works right now?

Yes, I’m writing a devotional book that will look at 100 questions God asks in the Bible (including Jesus, of course). (There are more questions than that, by the way.) For instance, have you ever wondered why Jesus asked the handicapped man at the Pool of Bethesda “Do you want to get well?” Or why God asked Adam and Eve “Where are you?” If God knows everything, and the answer is obvious, what was His purpose in asking questions? I will look at how His questions cause people to evaluate their motives and also reveal His wonderful qualities.

What kinds of other ministry activities, hobbies and leisure activities do you enjoy?

I love my grandkids!!!! I’m sad they live at a distance but we are together as often as possible. A lot of my time is giving “soul care counseling” to many on a weekly basis. My husband and I minister in this way together in our home.

Why did you write At the Heart of Friendship?

I originally wrote the 12 women’s Bible study books in my Daughters of the King Bible study series in the 80’s and 90’s. They sold for over a decade until they went out of print. With my current publisher, Elk Lake Publishing, Inc. my publisher, Deb Haggerty agreed with my desire to update and revamp those books. Now they not only include questions but commentary. They are used by individuals and groups. The topic on friendship is one of immense importance especially to women so I knew I had to include that topic. I’m editing and enlarging the twelve as time goes along. Right now, also available is Choices of the Heart (godly choices) and Whispers of My Heart (prayer). Next will be Heart Wisdom on Proverbs.

What do you want the reader to take away from the book?

The assurance that God wants to be a part and trusted for every area of life including friendships. There’s a lot about friendships in the Bible and I include many examples of Biblical women characters and how they interact with each other. I trust and pray that women and especially groups will be more wisely devoted to ministering to others and receiving help. The ten lessons include dealing with conflict, envy, competition, marriage, children, mentoring, and friendship with God, among others.

Is there anything else you’d like to tell my readers about you or your book?

No matter what you might be struggling with, be assured God is not only interested and cares, but He is strong and sufficient. If He could deliver me from being a child abuser, heal our family, and give me opportunities for His glory because of it, He can help you!

Please give us the first page or two from the book.

At the Heart of Friendship

Contents

Lesson 1 Rejoicing Together

Lesson 2 Resisting Envy and Jealousy

Lesson 3 Friends in Marriage

Lesson 4 Overcoming Competition

Lesson 5 Times of Need

Lesson 6 Being Friends with Our Children

Lesson 7 Handling Conflict Between Friends

Lesson 8 Differing Personalities

Lesson 9 Mentoring Friendships

Lesson 10 The Ultimate Friendship

Lesson 1

Rejoicing Together

Friendships are a wonderful gift from God—especially when those friendships are relationships which are God centered. Although not every friendship in your life will include God, a friendship including the Lord is cause for rejoicing.

In the weeks we have together studying about friendships, we’ll seek God’s perspectives and principles for all aspects of friendship—with friends, husbands, and children. In addition, we’ll look at obstacles to healthy friendships. We’ll also find encouragement for ministering to others and allowing others to minister to us. Sometimes allowing others to minister to us is the hardest challenge.

God wants us to have friends because he designed the idea of friendship in the beginning, knowing we need them and they are good for us. The longing for relationships was built into the first man in the Garden of Eden. “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’” (Genesis 2:18). Friendships aren’t just for a husband and wife, though. They are to be a part of every relationship—to some degree—especially in the Body of Christ.

Be assured your desire for relationships is to be celebrated. Let’s find out how we can rejoice in this gift from God and then develop healthy connections with others in every area of our lives.

1. How do you define “friendship”?

2. What do you look for most in a friend?

3. Read Luke 1:26-56. Why do you think the angel tells Mary the news about Elizabeth?

○ Although Mary and Elizabeth are relatives, what indicates they are also friends?

○ What positive characteristics(s) of a friendship do you see in their relationship?

As far as we know Mary was not instructed as to what she should do next after being given the news she would be the Messiah’s mother. The angel does mention what has happened to her “relative” Elizabeth but he doesn’t say she should go to visit her. We could easily wonder why Mary’s family members, especially her mother, weren’t mentioned. To leave her immediate family could indicate her family wouldn’t be supportive or none or few of them were alive. There could be other reasons because the Word of God doesn’t always give us details about everything that occurred. We will never know for sure, but Mary may have believed the angel mentioning Elizabeth indicated she should go visit her.

Another purpose of Mary hearing the news about Elizabeth’s pregnancy was a means of building Mary’s faith to believe God’s outrageous plan of a virgin becoming pregnant. God’s gift of pregnancy for Elizabeth in her older age was truly remarkable.

Some versions of the Bible use “relative” and some use the word “cousin” to indicate the relationship between Elizabeth and Mary. They knew each other but the distance between their towns prevented a lot of communication or visiting. Obviously, before the angel showed up, Mary had not yet heard the news Elizabeth was expecting a child and was six months along.

We don’t know the exact location when Mary travels “to a town in Judah.” Judah could be a territory or a town. Currently, there is no town named Judah in Israel. Some commentators believe the distance Mary traveled was at least seventy miles because no “hill country” was closer than that to Nazareth, where she lived. 

Where on the Internet can readers find you?

Amazon author page is: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/

website and blog: www.KathyCollardMiller.com

Facebook: www.Facebook.com/KathyCollardMillerAuthor

Twitter: www.twitter.com/KathyCMiller

Instagram: @KathyCollardMiller

At the Heart of Friendship:https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Friendship-Kathy-Collard-Miller/dp/1948888467/

Thank you, Kathy, for sharing this book and Bible Study with us.

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