Welcome back, J A. What would you like for our readers to know about you personally?
Thank you for having me on your blog,
Does it sound hokey to say I live to please my Father in Heaven? It’s true, I am so in love with Jesus. I’m also a freelance editor, writing mentor, and multi-published author. I’ve spent over two decades in Christian ministry, church leadership, and mentoring, which has given me a desire to see people come into freedom in Jesus Christ. As an editor/mentor, my motto is Equipping readers one book at a time.
Tell us about your family.
I am blessed with two grown children, a brilliant daughter-in-love, and four grandchildren—the loves of my life. The two oldest grands are finally at the age where I can take them out on dates. Look out world!
Have you written other nonfiction books?
No, only fiction. But the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) has published a basketful of my devotions/articles, under J.A. Marx.
Do you have any other books in the works right now?
I’ve started a devotional type of book to go with Silenced Wives. It’s definitely a lot easier to write, I just need to make time to complete it.
What kinds of hobbies and leisure activities do you enjoy?
Hiking/walking, Zumba, and painting. I try to visit the Colorado Rockies once a year to hike and nourish my soul.
Why did you write The Silenced Christian Wife?
This was definitely a love-hate project. I hate that there are other women in our churches who feel like they’re alone and trapped in their toxic situation. But I love that God is using this book to be a voice for the silenced wife and a source of empowerment to help them navigate the darkness they encounter daily. The emotional bruising these wives experience usually leaves them feeling like they’re crazy, yet there’s no physical proof to back them up. So outsiders are fooled into believing the marriage is “great,” while the Silenced Wife dwindles into a mere shell of a person. My heart aches to see these women healed, set free, and restored on every level. God did it for me; He will do it for them.
What do you want the reader to take away from the book?
I want women to know who they are in Christ and to be empowered to thrive in that genuine identity until God either heals their husband and restores the marriage or until He delivers them from their situation. The book is also rich with scripture, which I believe is the foundation for every part of life—self, mental health, marriage, etc.
Is there anything else you’d like to tell my readers about you or your book?
The book offers multiple accounts of silenced wives, stories that are raw and deep. I’ve lived through what these women are currently experiencing, so I’m able to offer intimate insight that resonates with their hearts. And I couldn’t have written this book without the other brave women who’ve also contributed their stories that either encourage or empower the reader.
Please give us the first page or two from the book.
Subtle: difficult to perceive, cunning, crafty, insidious in operation.
“What a happy couple you are.”
Their innocent statement makes you want to scream. Instead, you smile graciously.
Happy—that used to be real. A beautiful togetherness.
Today, “happy” is a façade. You alone recognize the hypocrisy. And you hate it.
To speak out would invite the same subtle rebuke: “Seriously. You still don’t know how good you’ve got it?”
Verbal daggers pierce your sanity. How many more stabs can your heart take?
There are no bruises. Not on the outside, anyway. But your soul has been hemorrhaging … for years.
You alone feel the insult in his gaze. “See, baby? Other women envy you.”
They envy a fool’s paradise.
You open your mouth to explain what torments you. Nothing comes out.
Gagged, by subtle intimidation. Finding your own words is like grasping the wind.
You push through the pain. Go along with his show.
After each performance, another part of you dies.
Silenced. Buried alive, piece by piece, under the weight of veiled oppression.
But God…
The Silenced Christian Wife does not tackle basic communication problems or misunderstanding each other’s personality. This is not a book for those dealing with matters such as impotency or the empty-nest syndrome. This is not dedicated to overcoming a typical affair—although this sin is tragically common in the church today, and some of this content will be helpful for that issue. Nor is this book for couples who simply need a marriage refresher or a time away just to focus on your relationship, to work through anger and forgiveness, and to rebuild intimacy.
None of that. Instead…
The Silenced Christian Wife strikes at the insidious issues that are deeper and harder to identify, thus more difficult to deal with.
Insidious: operating or proceeding in a seemingly harmless way but actually with grave or deadly effect.
Essentially, you started out equally yoked. But after an elusive trail of Judas dialogue and tricks, you and your husband are seemingly no longer on the “equal” scale. While not every woman reading this book is fighting the exact same issue in her marital crisis, the issues do fall under the same category: difficult to detect, including deviant behavior.
Place a check mark by any of the following descriptions that express what you have been afraid to say out loud.
- The intimidation of a master manipulator is sabotaging my home.
- Passive-aggressive anger and oppression now happening was not detectable in our early years.
- The term narcissism occupies the forefront of my mind, but I dare not speak up.
- He controls all the money and judges my use of it.
- I’m only one of his two wives living under our roof (not Mormon).
- Gender identity is a sensitive topic, and my views are shunned.
- He expresses an interest in other men, and this scares me.
- I’m witnessing a rise in deviant sexual activity.
- He likes lipstick and fishnet—on himself.
- My children always believe him but never believe me.
- Extended family pities him, blaming me for all our struggles.
The above list portrays just a few symptoms of the Virus, which I will soon define. Although your spouse might not physically hit you, the internal injuries caused by his words and activities are extensive and real. A yoyo on a string best describes your relationship, and the loop is around your husband’s finger.
In fact, you might be strongly thinking about leaving the relationship, except (place check marks again):
- You are a Christian and you passionately believe marriage is a vow until death separates you. You are faithful. You are determined to keep your vow.
- You firmly believe God is more powerful than your problems and can heal the worst of marriages.
- You have been told divorce is a sin, and you fear being excommunicated.
- This book is your last-push attempt to make the relationship work.
- Fear. You feel trapped physically or financially, with no place to go.
Today, you desperately need someone to understand you, to hear your cry, and to assure you that you are not alone.
If this resonates with your heart, then I am glad you are here. Keep reading. I (J.A.) understand you. My prayer is that God will use the message in The Silenced Christian Wife to bring assurance that you are not alone, nor have you been forsaken, and God has a great plan for your life right now. Yes, the Lord is far mightier than your problems. Trust His ability to help you rise above the Virus.
Thank you, J A, for allowing me to share your book on my blog. I pray it will bless women everywhere who are going through this kind of problem in their marriages.
Where on the Internet can the readers find you?
Website www.jamarx.net
email info@jamarx.net
Readers,
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9 comments:
Looking forward to reading your book julie.
I am so sorry for the pain you've endured. I respect your courage to share your pain in order to help others who suffer in silence.
My daughter had an unfortunate marriage, so I know how things can look "perfect" on the outside but miserable behind closed doors.
God bless you.
Connie Leonard
Keitha, it will certainly be an interesting read for you, friend. Thanks for dropping by.
Connie L. Thank you for your kind words. I must say though that, at this point in time, the pain was worth it because of the fruit God has and is bringing from that time.
Sounds interesting FL
Enter me!!
Conway SC.
Hi Sharon. So glad you stopped by. Sounds like this might be a must read for you or someone you know.
-J.A.
This sounds like a valuable resource! Thanks for sharing.
Blessings!
Connie from Kentucky
cps1950(at)gmail(dot)com
Connie, so glad you joined in.
J.A.
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