Readers, I have a degree in Drama and was a director for church drama programs and even in community theater. I wrote a number of dramatic monologues of people in the Bible. Here is one that I wrote and performed a number of times. Part of a trilogy of the three most significant events in the life of the mother of Jesus.
Meditations on the Death of Her First Child
Lena Nelson Dooley
Oh, Yahweh, how can I contain my grief?
Is this all there is?
My grief overwhelms me with pain. My body aches ... My soul aches ... My spirit aches.
When the angel came to me so many years ago, I wondered what it was all about, but I trusted You. Then the Baby came. Joseph, who wasn’t His father, was with me. As Jesus grew, Joseph was such a help to me.
Now, during the darkest time of my life, he is no longer with me ... Why?
Yahweh, I watched our Son grow and mature physically and spiritually, and I trusted You. I pondered all the unusual events at the beginning of His life.
I did not question You.
I knew ... that I knew ... that I knew I was within Your will. Now I don’t know anything, but pain.
Why did You bring Him into my life knowing I would love Him without reservation? Have You known all along that it would lead to this?
Did You knowingly bring this unbearable pain upon me? What have I done to deserve so deep a pain? Did I not trust You completely? ... Why? ...Why?
As Jesus began His ministry, I was aware of Your power and presence in His life. I watched Him perform miracles and healings. I saw Him meet deep needs that no one had ever been able to meet. People were changed, never to return to their old lives. Yet He was hated by many people ... Why?
The wisdom He imparted was as from Heaven, far surpassing even the wisdom of King Solomon. He confounded learned men. Maybe jealousy made them hate Him. Disillusioned, I watched as more and more people moved against Him.
The nightmare has become a tragedy ... Why? ... Why?
You sent angels to announce His coming, and a choir of angels to announce His birth. Couldn’t You send even one angel to prevent His death? ... Why not?
Oh, Yahweh! I have nowhere to turn but to You. I have spent a lifetime trusting You without question, but I cannot comprehend what You have allowed to happen.
My heart groans within me.
My soul groans within me.
My spirit groans within me.
I can see no hope for the future.
The Light of my life has been snuffed out.
Why? ... Why? ... Why?
Copyright 1985 - Lena Nelson Dooley